At the root of everything, is my current job search. I'm looking to relocate to NYC to be closer to my girlfriend. A prospect that while exciting, is also paralysis inducing, in that it requires me to change jobs. Historically, I have sort of lucked into my jobs. I have been hired after working as a temp. All things considered, the administrative nature of the work that I do has been good, but it has not been extremely fulfilling. I took these jobs in hopes of gaining experience to go to graduate school. A few years back I applied and was accepted to a few programs in Public Policy, and rejected from several others. I chose not to attend, based primarily on cost. I was terrified of the prospect of being a hundred thousand dollars in debt and only marginally more qualified for roles similar to the work I'm currently performing. I'm not sure if this was the right decision. While I'm happy to be relatively debt free, the trade-off has been the looming presence of a dream deferred. In fact, now I'm not even sure what my professional/academic goals might be...
This uncertainty has eroded my self-confidence to the point that searching for jobs is an unpleasant prospect. In the best of times, job searches are tough. In this economic climate, it's even tougher. I find myself unable to get my resume into the right hands. (Past what I can only assume is a singularly spiteful Resume-Tron 2000 with none of the empathy and intelligence displayed by Watson.) Or, more likely, I'm not showcasing my skills effectively.
In the near-term future, my goal is simply to move, and to be gainfully employed shortly thereafter. Long-term future-wise, I would love to gain the skills needed to become self-employed. "Doing what?" you might ask. Good question. I love the idea of becoming an entrepreneur, but it seems that I'll need a solid idea to foment this reality. I scheme all the time, but that is part of my problem. As schemes unfold and refold themselves in my mind's eye, life is cruising along at a nice clip, unconcerned with my plotting.
That's where I see the importance and utility of this blog. I need to generate small victories and successes which, hopefully, will propel me forward. You can't be Neutral on a moving train.
- I have applied to several positions in NY. Generally speaking, they're higher-ed administration type jobs. This is not necessarily my passion, but for the moment, this reflects my current skill-set.
- I'm certainly cooking more for myself and eating more healthy meals. My diet was never too bad, but I'm trying to remember Michael Pollen's admonition to eat food, not too much, mostly vegetables. Also trying to cut out salt. This is difficult to measure effectively, thus the need to cook at home.
- I've tried to reorganize my finances in a way that conform to the Alan B "Ten steps to financial independence plan'. I've always viewed this as a relative strength, but Alan assured me that prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance. I stand corrected, and better organized.
- Slowly, I'm starting to exercise again. I'm usually pretty active on my bike when it's decent outside (above 40 F). This winter has been long and I've been shaking off the rust by doing some basic body weight stuff. Push-ups, sit-ups etc.
- I bought Don Quixote and quickly realized that it is too difficult. Reading a book in Spanish was a fine goal. Reading hundreds of pages of medieval Spanish proved to be daunting. I could hardly understand the first couple pages. It was, Tilting at Windmills, so to speak. I need to find another classic that's written in more modern Spanish. Suggestions?
- Currently reading "A Rumor of War" by Philip Caputo. An excellently written memoir on Vietnam. This reminds me of several things. Reading is fun. I love to read memoirs, always have. While I'd love to try my hand at writing, I realize that I need to acquire some sort of body of knowledge to write about. The mental mediocrity of a "just good enough" job has taken it's toll. I badly want to live life more fully, in a way that begs real experiences, & away from the tedium of 9-5. While this may seem a strange reflection on a 'Nam book (specifically my conclusion that it has awakened a desire for experiential learning), all well-written memoirs of great people evoke in me a sense of wanderlust, a desire to try harder, and be better.
I'm going to Austin next week to visit my mom and ride bikes. I look forward to a chance to hit the mental reset button on my sleeping and exercise habits. You guys have inspired me with your determination. Keep up the good work.
