Going Forward

I've been quite busy, and haven't sent out my goals, but I figured I would update, regardless. Here are a few of the things I've been working on:

I am writing more than I ever have, usually on deadlines. I love doing actual journalism, and I am being paid to do it (it's nominal, but still!). I've been promoted to associate news editor. My writing is fairly sound at this point, but I am working on how to better source my stories. For instance, I wrote a story on a task force Buffalo State is part of to prevent violence and gang activity on the west side of Buffalo. Unfortunately, due to deadline constraints, I did not speak to any of the people who actually live on the west side and are directly in contact with the task force. It would have made the story that much better, and I will work on getting more sources for stories like this, even under a tight deadline.

I am also working on an initiative to get the east side community of Buffalo involved in some of the revitalization projects here. A tall task, maybe, but something I feel passionate about. I will report more on this as things start to happen (or not happen, as the case may be).

I am trying to eat less carbs, and drink less pop (soda, for you uninitiated types). I've gained quite a bit of weight this winter, and it's becoming a concern. I had been attending a gym, but it kind of fell off as I became busier. I am trying to delegate my time better to allow for gym time. As Cory Booker would say (and a few others), Let's Move!

Neutrality

Progress has been slow, but steady. After the initial excitement of the blog, and the first post flushed w/ idealism, settling down to accomplish my goals has been instructive. Basically, this represents an attempt to re-wire the brain from a state of complacency to one of identifying problems and obstacles, and even more importantly, finding solutions that will enable me to push forward.

At the root of everything, is my current job search. I'm looking to relocate to NYC to be closer to my girlfriend. A prospect that while exciting, is also paralysis inducing, in that it requires me to change jobs. Historically, I have sort of lucked into my jobs. I have been hired after working as a temp. All things considered, the administrative nature of the work that I do has been good, but it has not been extremely fulfilling. I took these jobs in hopes of gaining experience to go to graduate school. A few years back I applied and was accepted to a few programs in Public Policy, and rejected from several others. I chose not to attend, based primarily on cost. I was terrified of the prospect of being a hundred thousand dollars in debt and only marginally more qualified for roles similar to the work I'm currently performing. I'm not sure if this was the right decision. While I'm happy to be relatively debt free, the trade-off has been the looming presence of a dream deferred. In fact, now I'm not even sure what my professional/academic goals might be...

This uncertainty has eroded my self-confidence to the point that searching for jobs is an unpleasant prospect. In the best of times, job searches are tough. In this economic climate, it's even tougher. I find myself unable to get my resume into the right hands. (Past what I can only assume is a singularly spiteful Resume-Tron 2000 with none of the empathy and intelligence displayed by Watson.) Or, more likely, I'm not showcasing my skills effectively.

In the near-term future, my goal is simply to move, and to be gainfully employed shortly thereafter. Long-term future-wise, I would love to gain the skills needed to become self-employed. "Doing what?" you might ask. Good question. I love the idea of becoming an entrepreneur, but it seems that I'll need a solid idea to foment this reality. I scheme all the time, but that is part of my problem. As schemes unfold and refold themselves in my mind's eye, life is cruising along at a nice clip, unconcerned with my plotting.

That's where I see the importance and utility of this blog. I need to generate small victories and successes which, hopefully, will propel me forward. You can't be Neutral on a moving train.

• I have applied to several positions in NY. Generally speaking, they're higher-ed administration type jobs. This is not necessarily my passion, but for the moment, this reflects my current skill-set.
• I'm certainly cooking more for myself and eating more healthy meals. My diet was never too bad, but I'm trying to remember Michael Pollen's admonition to eat food, not too much, mostly vegetables. Also trying to cut out salt. This is difficult to measure effectively, thus the need to cook at home.
• I've tried to reorganize my finances in a way that conform to the Alan B "Ten steps to financial independence plan'. I've always viewed this as a relative strength, but Alan assured me that prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance. I stand corrected, and better organized.
• Slowly, I'm starting to exercise again. I'm usually pretty active on my bike when it's decent outside (above 40 F). This winter has been long and I've been shaking off the rust by doing some basic body weight stuff. Push-ups, sit-ups etc.
• I bought Don Quixote and quickly realized that it is too difficult. Reading a book in Spanish was a fine goal. Reading hundreds of pages of medieval Spanish proved to be daunting. I could hardly understand the first couple pages. It was, Tilting at Windmills, so to speak. I need to find another classic that's written in more modern Spanish. Suggestions?
• Currently reading "A Rumor of War" by Philip Caputo. An excellently written memoir on Vietnam. This reminds me of several things. Reading is fun. I love to read memoirs, always have. While I'd love to try my hand at writing, I realize that I need to acquire some sort of body of knowledge to write about. The mental mediocrity of a "just good enough" job has taken it's toll. I badly want to live life more fully, in a way that begs real experiences, & away from the tedium of 9-5. While this may seem a strange reflection on a 'Nam book (specifically my conclusion that it has awakened a desire for experiential learning), all well-written memoirs of great people evoke in me a sense of wanderlust, a desire to try harder, and be better.

I'm going to Austin next week to visit my mom and ride bikes. I look forward to a chance to hit the mental reset button on my sleeping and exercise habits. You guys have inspired me with your determination. Keep up the good work.

the feeling of thawing

A short post is in order. I've made some solid progress in a few of my main pursuits.

• Made my Kiva donation for January. Now some folks in Cambodia will have clean drinking water. Nothing wrong with that.
• Put a few more miles in on the treadmill, at a higher speed. 480 left to go.
• Been studying Japanese a bit more, aiming at a minimum of 30 minutes, every day. Also, stopped at a Japanese language faculty member's office to talk about my self-study project. He lent me a textbook to use, in addition to online courses.
• I've found two places I'd like to volunteer for a few hours every month, but still haven't contacted them.
• I really need to initiate the martial arts blog, and gathering a few folks to start regular practice. I've been practicing solo, which is a less appealing, but less demanding, compromise. Having a heavy bag in my basement now helps.
• The biggest step I've made in recent weeks is toward writing an article for publication. I wrote a research proposal and ran it by a sociology professor I know (who is an eminent scholar in her field). She loved the proposal, and encouraged me to get going on my research, even suggesting that I should try to get it published in some academic journals. I'm excited and nervous about her encouraging feedback. She clearly expects me to write something stellar. Pressure is on.

All in all, I'm happy with my progress. The two targets I've set for myself that now look most daunting are the attic-cleaning (sell/donate/trash 5 boxes by April) and the blog launch/subscription goal. Neither looks too challenging, but the deadlines do. Either feat would be easy in isolation, but I think it will be difficult to manage them while continuing with all these other projects. BALANCE will be the name of the game.

This blog is helping me. In moments of distraction, I can quickly think back to my "master plan", and identify something productive that I could be doing. I'd love to hear some advice or feedback in the comments. Has Collective Impact done anything for you yet? Do you think of it as a tool? As a think tank? How could it be more useful?

Age ain't nothing but a number, right?

I am now into my fourth semester since deciding to go back to school two years ago for journalism. Writing and being a journalist has been a life long goal of mine, starting when I was quite young, and obsessed with reading the paper (remember those?) everyday. Writing has always come fairly easy to me, and it's been a somewhat smooth transition from occasional blog writer to actual reporter. I'm confident in my ability, and I produce decent work within my deadlines. To be clear, I am currently writing for the college paper. It's a paid position, and a chance to get experience. Aside from the bleak forecast on the future of journalism (I think it's a bit overblown, but still...), my main concern is my age. I'm easily the oldest person writing for the paper, and usually the oldest person in my journalism classes (I luck out with electives, I'm middle of the pack in those). I struggle with it almost everyday. I find it ridiculous at its base, but here I am, describing it to you. Clearly, my age provides many advantages, in terms of life experience and ability to work hard. The drawbacks are based on vague assumptions of what may happen in the future. Silly, right? Anyway, it's not going away. Thoughts, dear friends?

Somebody to body... I'm sorry, please forgive me

"Sickness comes in through the mouth, and age comes in through the legs" -Grandmaster Helio Gracie

With less than three weeks to go before I embark on my first MMA bout journey, I made a terrible mistake.

You see, I am pushing myself harder than I have in a long while. With that, comes certain distractions that one often forgets. The two biggest and most noticeable disturbances happen to be my incredible mood swings (yes, male PMS and then some) and my ravenous crave for calories. Having a wife to remind me of my ridiculousness is a tremendous compliment towards my demeanor, especially when interacting with people who perhaps have little understanding of the self inflicted anxieties that come with such a task. My mind (which rules the body) sees food and the rest is problematic. Currently my body is going through the lesson learned process of what follows when one isn't entirely conscientious of what it consumes. I have aches, chills, swollen glands and the like. Perhaps one calls it a cold, which has become foreign to me in adulthood.

Helio lived until his mid 90s and kept it simple (silly). He didn't eat fast food, didn't mix acidic foods, stayed away from pork, limited red meat and refrained from alcohol and any form of smoke. I too follow those rules but have a soft spot for sweets. Helio on the other hand believed if there was no benefit for your body, the food was not worthy of consumption. It isn't easy trying to justify pretzels, cannoli's and the mother of all weaknesses, ice cream. (Cue the music, "I'm only human, born to make mistakes").

My goals dwarf in comparison my desires for sweets, luxuries and the easier life. Instead of the I'll crack down and eat clean philosophy two weeks before the said event, I need to fine tune things and realize the six weeks required to acquire (I sound like Apollo Creed!) maximum results has no room for error. Ice cream, you'll always be there for me (and I will always love you). My body will only hold up for so long, so treating it right, right now is the way to go.

"A rabbit will run and the lion has nothing to fear" -Iron and Wine

Low-hanging fruit in a dense thicket of distraction

Gentlemen,

I am reclaiming my duty to act. For too long I've been a captive of my imagination. I've never stopped dreaming, never stopped creating wonderful scenarios in my minds eye. Despite, or perhaps because of, this propensity for dreaming, I've been hit with a jab enough times that I'm reluctant to let down my guard and fire a body shot once in a while. I'd forgotten how, exactly, to punch... how to set goals. The process of setting performance-based goals was liberating, but it doesn't free me from responsibility. It compels me to work diligently.

I've got to regain focus. Distractions abound. Goals can only be accomplished through effort and dedication. I can either be dedicated to the internet and its seductive tangential logic or I can be dedicated to my own course of self-improvement.

• As I'm writing this, I quit Facebook. Time to get real.
• Been eating better. Making food at home. Had a physical recently and while other vital signs are good, my blood pressure is not so hot. This could attributed to several factors, to genetics, but it could also be lifestyle based. Stress and laziness could also be culprits. Eating out constantly probably shoots my DRV of sodium by quite a bit. I need to cook for myself more, & monitor my salt intake. It's really not a good thing when your own laziness imperils your health. Eating out for me has been a matter of convenience, but it's not very convenient to have high blood pressure at 29.
• I'm trying to move to NYC. Monday morning I sent an email to the head of Human Resources at NYU Wagner School of Public Policy. (I should note this was not done in a vacuum. My girlfriend, Grisel, was instrumental in laying the groundwork for this.)
• Come payday, I know exactly which bike tools I'm going to buy to enable me to work on my own bike. For years, I've wanted the proper equipment to at least attempt my own repairs. Trying to fix your brakes while the bike is leaning up against the wall, moving every time you apply the slightest bit of torque with what is, inevitably not the correct wrench, is not fun. It is actually awful. A stand and a proper toolkit are what the bike doctor prescribes.
• Don Quixote is on order.

I look forward to being in your corner. The bell has rung, and it's time to kick out the stool of complacency and fire back in combination.

The First Steps

"A journey of ten thousand miles begins with a single step." - Chinese proverb

Despite a relentless New England winter and the general chaos involved in a 3-week bathroom renovation (the only bathroom in our house), I'm feeling optimistic about some initial progress toward my goals.

I've run nine miles now...491 to go, in 49 weeks. That means I will need to average ten miles per week, for the rest of the year. It's certainly doable, but only if I'm incredibly persistent in my efforts. An occasional week off would set me back hugely. Consistency is key, so I'll keep at it. For now, though, I'll have to rest for a day or two because of an enormous blister on the sole of my right foot. So far all running has been on a treadmill (snowy streets have been prohibitive), but I can't wait to be running outdoors again. I thrive in the fresh air and changing scenery.

I'm also making great progress in studying Japanese. In just the past week, I've doubled my vocabulary from roughly 15 to 30 words, and grappled with the grammar of basic, simple sentence and question structure. I've learned most of the Hiragana syllabary (48 characters total). I'm giving myself through February to cram as much vocab and basic phrases into my head as possible, then plan to start real conversation practice March 1, through online language exchange sites using Skype. I'm nervous about it, but also excited. I can hardly remember when I began studying Chinese and was incapable of any real communication with it, but I clearly recall the first few times I had genuine interactions in the language, and I'm eagerly looking forward to those breakthroughs with Japanese.

I'm already concerned with my altruistic pursuits. The end of the month is near, and I need to make a Kiva donation. I will get it done this week, but it won't be easy; cash is tight, due to the renovation costs and two tuition bills for this semester. I should rest assured, of course, that the small percentage of a paycheck that I'm donating carries tremendous purchasing power for a motivated entrepreneur who doesn't spend in USD. It could be enough to launch their business, and provide vital services to their local community. They need it more than I.

How has your week been? Can you report on any concrete steps you've taken toward your goals? How about any frustrations; what has prevented you from moving forward?

Please share in comments, and post your own report!